If you've known me for a while, you know I used to write elaborate Christmas letters full of creative edge. Each year I tried to outdo myself until I hit a wall, and have since retired the practice.However, I came across one from a few years ago that seems worth re-working. This is the "Post North Korean Takeover" version.
-Greetings from the newly annexed Democratic People's Republic of Korea formerly known as Los Angeles, home of the scum that commits such high treason, Sony Pictures Studios.
We wish you the best greetings of the season that have since been ruled out since our dear leader Kim Jong Un has rescued us from the arch traitors who are not worth the air their breathe, and made our leader Dennis Rodman. We hope that your snowfall deepens as the Korean people's yearning for leader Kim Jong Il, who left them amid heavy snowfall years ago.
Before our valiant rescue we have been kept busy with the caring for our children, holding captive the parents to the homework not to be tolerated.. The imperialist school system started them in Japanese and made great progress until our dear leader freed us from such dirty propaganda and eliminated the fascist filth.
Before Kim Jong Un, a great statesman of literary and military accomplishments, who is possessed of outstanding wisdom, rescued us, the children did play sports such as soccer, volleyball, and swimming. All sports have since been declared acts of sycophantic treachery against the state and crushed with the dreams of swimming to Mexico freedom.
Before our dear leader's great triumph over lies, scheming, and provocations that distort and blaspheme our Republic’s bright reality, Christina put her most valiant efforts towards writing Bible studies. She worked in the traitorous school garden which would offer food not given from our beloved leader with matchless pluck and noble revolutionary comradeship. At the harvesting, the children did say“Hurrah!” with feelings of strong yearning and loyalty, extending highest glory and warmest congratulations. For this thieving of glory from our dear leader they were annihilated and firmly punished.
We wish you well in the cruel result of our attack that you deserve. Then you will know that our threat is not hollow. It will be too late to regret the rashness you are accused of as dreaming different dreams, listening to unauthorized music, or watching act of war movies like Home Alone.
As an electronic Christmas letter, let me take a moment to address any who may be "listening" for such emails..
To the CIA: This is satire.
To the FBI: Sorry about/ Congratulations on the job!
To the North Koreans: Satire means a dream of the best that you are hope for.
Photo Credit: http://kimjongunlookingatthings.com
You can now pre-order "Parenting in Christ: Lessons from the Parables" on Amazon at a pre-order discount of 99 cents! It will be delivered on Christmas day!
Parenting in Christ: Lessons from the Parables
by Christina Dronen
10 Lessons Align with the Parables
- Growing in Truth
- Responsibility of Authority / Stewardship
- Trust & Obedience - Integrity
- Perfecting Love with Mercy
- Repentance & Forgiveness
- Finding Contentment
This is meant to be an easier read & more seeker friendly than the first book. It's a great gift for someone you care about
for If you follow me via my social media accounts, you know already I've had my book FREE today on Amazon kindle. It only now occurred to me that I might have some folks who only follow me on here. So, my book will continue to be free until the end of the day tomorrow, December 11th.
You don't don't need Amazon / kindle hardware to read it - you can download the kindle app on just about any device and read it from there!
Feel free to pass it on to friends and contact me with any feedback.
Reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, or BarnesandNoble are appreciated!
Click below for a preview or go here to get it: http://a.co/1O3d5mS
Part of what inspired my "digging into the Santa thing" was my son's recent question after school one day, "Can Santa see me all the time? Can he see me now?" He seemed concerned. As I've made it my mission to lie minimally in regards to Santa, I quickly changed the subject. Below, I consider my most dire concerns around the Santa thing.
In my last post I shared that I "do Santa" in my own way now, but due to my observations over the years, and in light of recent events, I'm leaning towards ending the Santa thing. So what does Harvey Weinstein have to do with it? The Santa thing sets children up to respond to the Harvey Weinsteins of the world in ways I don't want my kids to respond. It also conflicts with what I value most as I parent my kids. I continue on below with which specific values it is incompatible with and why.
- From my new book, "Parenting in Christ: Lessons from the Parables" available for 99 cents on preorder from Amazon until Christmas.
Everyone likes a thankful and happy child who appreciates everything done for them. But helping a child become this grateful is not easy. It requires more than just training a child to say "thank you." A child might say thank you all the time, but still have a bad attitude. What they really need is gratitude. Having gratitude means doing more than being thankful. It also means valuing the kindness of the giver. For a child to have true gratitude, they must be able to see the difference between what's owed, what's earned, and what's a gift. Gratitude is an attitude of the heart and a sign of good character. It is the cure for entitlement, needed for contentment, and leads to generosity.
In part 1 I shared that I "do Santa" in my own way now, but due to my observations over the years, and in light of recent events, might put that tradition to rest. So what does Harvey Weinstein have to do with it? Some of what parents do with Santa has turned him into a bit of a groomer and a few other things that I don't want shaping my children. I'm continuing on with comparing the Santa paradigm as it relates to what I value most as I parent my kids.